your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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