I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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