How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
