big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
