Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
