Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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