My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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