I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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