I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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