dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We got so high we made milksteak
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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