Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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