Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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