I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
