I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
