No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
