Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
