I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
