21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
