Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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