I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
