She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
