I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
