So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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