Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
