You made me cry and you don't even care
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
