Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
