Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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