id be glad to
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
