I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
