his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
