So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
