white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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