Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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