I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize