you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
