Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
