do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
