YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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