Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
