Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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