I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
