The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize