Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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