You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
