you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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