Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just found puke in my bra..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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