I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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