How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
