3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
