you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
