Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Your cock deserves a montage
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
