i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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