Where is the hickey?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
