The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
