if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
